


Jealousy

by ImagineBeatles



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 13:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15534780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeatles/pseuds/ImagineBeatles
Summary: John gets jealous of all the girls who Paul gets into his bed every night.





	Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr in 2013 in three parts, now merged into a one-shot :)

‘Oh Paul! Oh yeah… oh!’ John and George heard coming from the bedroom next to George’s. John raised his eyebrows and looked at a slightly blushing George. The muffled moans continued and John looked back at the television program they were watching, turning up the volume to make the noises less noticeable. George looked at John as they heard Paul groaning loudly too. John kept his eyes fixed on the television. George ran his hand through his hair and turned his eyes back to the television, trying hard to ignore the screams of pleasure coming from the other room.

‘OH fuck… oh Paul… oh PAUL!’ they both heard the bird in the other room shout as she finally climaxed. Her shout was soon followed by Paul swearing a little as he came too. George got even redder.

‘Slut…’ George heard John silently say. He almost hadn’t heard it. George looked at John and raised an eyebrow, hoping John would see. But he didn’t. John kept his focus straight on the television. George wanted to ask John. Wanted to know more.

George already knew a little. He had gotten it out of him when he had been drunk one night. John didn’t really say he had a crush on Paul, but from his words it was rather obvious. John told him that Paul was making him doing funny things. He didn’t say what kind of things. He told him that Paul looked cute and was quite a good-looking fella. Not the words you’d expect John to say about a man. Certainly not his best friend he knew since he was sixteen. Further John had told George that if Paul had been a bird, he’d fuck him. Hard. More George hadn’t gotten out of John, but it was enough to know what was going on in John’s mind. For a part of it, then. Nobody really knew what was going on in John’s head. No-one. Only Paul could a little. Maybe if he’d try hard, he would eventually get close to what John’s thought are. Maybe even understand John. But thoroughly knowing John and his mind, that was impossible. George sometimes thought, John himself didn’t understand himself at all at some points either.

Just as George opened his mouth to say something, there was a knock on the door. John eyed George and shrugged. George sighed.

‘Come in.’ He said as he looked at the still closed door. It opened. John didn’t look up to see who it was. George did.

‘Hello, Paul. What have you been up to?’ George asked with a smirk on his face. Paul’s face went red immediately. John just didn’t react. George’s smile grew wider as he saw Paul’s reaction.

‘I… eh… I was… ehm…’ Paul stammered as John interrupted him.

‘Fucking a bird in the room next door and making her scream out loud so everyone could hear and enjoy.’ John said, sill keeping his eyes straight on the television. Even though George was sure that he wasn’t really watching it, since there was nothing on. Paul was now blushing heavily. He looked down at the ground.

‘That loud, eh?’ He asked softly. George could not get the grin of his face.

‘Yeah Paul, you both were fucking loud! Especially that slut of yours!’ John yelled angrily as he jumped up from his chair. George’s grin disappeared immediately as he was shocked by John’s certain outburst. Normally John would keep it in until Paul was gone. George looked at Paul, whose face looked totally shocked. George looked from Paul to John and back at Paul. When nobody said anything John grabbed his jacket that was lying on the back of the chair he had been sitting on and stormed out of the room, leaving George and Paul alone in the room, stunned.

Ringo looked up from the paper he was reading as John entered the small living room. John was not in a good mood. Ringo could immediately see that.

‘Something happened, John?’ He asked. John murmured something back, but Ringo couldn’t hear what. John walked into his room and slammed the door shut. John was soon followed by a shocked George Harrison. Ringo raised his eyebrow, but decided to stay out of it.

‘John, are you alright?’ George sweetly asked as he gently pushed the door to John’s bedroom open. It was dark in the room. The curtains were closed and all the lights were out. It took George’s eyes some time to get used to the lack of light in the room. When his eyes were used to the light he could make out a body on John’s bed, lying on its side. George walked in and closed the door behind him.

‘Go away, George.’ George heard coming from the  bed. It was John. George walked to the bed and sat down. John didn’t move.

‘I said: go away. Not come and have a seat.’ John said. George sighed.

‘I heard you. I just want to know what’s wrong. I won’t be leaving until I do.’ George said with a lot of confidence coming from his words. John sat up and sat with back against the wall. He hugged his legs and rested his head on his knees. He bit his lower lip. George watched John. Not saying anything.

‘I’m just not in a good mood…’ John lied. George could see right through it.

‘Come on, John. We both know you fancy the man.’ He said. John’s eye grew big and he looked up at George.

‘No, I don’t! I’m not queer, George!’ John nearly screamed. George laid a hand on John’s knee in order to calm him down.

‘John. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed off. I’m your friend, I won’t judge you like other people would. Besides, I know you’re not _queer_. But you do love him, John. A lot. And much more than as only your best mate.’ George said calmly.

‘I’m not a fag.’ John mumbled. George gave his knee a little squeeze.

‘John. You love him. We both know it and there’s no point in denying it.’ He said. John looked down and didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes.

‘I do. I do love him.’ John whispered. He looked up at George with guilty eyes.

‘There. Now that wasn’t that hard, was it. I understand though. It’s hard to admit. I had the same with Ritchie.’ George said. John’s eyes grew wide. George only noticed what he’d said after a couple of seconds.

‘Oh fuck… He’s going to kill me.’ George said as he took his head in his hands.

‘Wait. Hold on there. You and… You and Ringo?’ John asked in disbelieve. George nodded. He quickly turned his head to John.

‘Please don’t tell anyone. He’ll kill me. We decided not to tell anyone.’ George begged John. John began to smile.

‘You and Ringo, eh. How long?’ John asked as curiosity took over. George looked at John with begging eyes.

‘Please John. Promise me that you won’t tell anyone.’ George begged again. John nodded heavily.

‘Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll keep me mouth shut.’ John said, ‘Now tell me. How long?’

George had to smile now too and moved next to John.

‘About four months ago. We had a day off and he took me for a walk and it was getting dark and he pulled me for a kiss. It was very sweet, because after he had pulled away he gave me a rose that he’d held behind his back.’ George told John. John eyes sparkled.

‘Four months. I never noticed. Of course I knew something strange was going on, but I just thought it was because of… I don’t know. Drugs or something. But never thought of this. How the heck have you kept it a secret for so long?’ John asked. George had to laugh at John’s enthusiasm. 

‘I don’t know. We just make sure we won’t do anything weird when you guys or other people are around. And of course we always share a room when we stay at hotels, so that makes sleeping very easy.’ George said. John gave him a playful push.

‘Oh! You dirty boy!’ John joked. George went red and pushed him back.

‘Oh shut it, John. That was not what I said.’ George said.

‘But it was what you meant.’ John said with a wink. George’s face grew redder.

‘Don’t you deny it, George Harrison. I can see right through you.’ John said with a wide grin on his face. The two boys stayed up all night talking about Ringo, love, Paul and of course John’s problem with the birds Paul was sleeping with. They laughed, talked and drank until they saw the sun come up.

John awoke due to some strange noises coming from next to him on the bed. John opened his eyes and turned his head to see what made that noise. What he saw wasn’t really what he’d expected to see. Next to him lay George. That wasn’t that strange since they had been talking all night and then fell asleep. The strange thing was that there was someone else on the bed. That person was kissing George passionately as his hands explored his body. John had to grin. It was Ringo.

‘Aw, isn’t that cute.’ John said loudly with a fake sigh so that both man jumped up in shock.

‘Jesus. Fuck John! You nearly gave me a heart attack, you bastard.’ Ringo said. John grinned at them. Their faces were flushed and their clothes messy. They had obviously been making out for some time before John woke up.

‘Oh Rings. Don’t  exaggerate. Besides. It’s my bloody bed you two are making out in. I could throw both of you out if I wanted.’ John said with a laugh.

‘Sod off, John.’ George said. With that he grabbed Ringo’s collar and pulled him down onto him, lips crashing together. John laughed and threw a pillow at them. Ringo pulled away disturbed. John quickly got out of bed and ran out of the bedroom. Ringo wanted to follow him, but was pulled back by George and his lips found George’s again.  

John walked into the kitchen and saw Paul sitting there with the bird from the night before. Obviously she had stayed to night, much to John’s annoyance.

‘Morning.’ He muttered. Paul and the girl looked up.

‘Morning.’ Paul started, ‘Ehm… This is eh… Rachel. She stayed the night.’ John snorted at the obvious information he had gotten from Paul.

‘Ah well. Hello Rachel.’ John said in a flirtatious way as he leaned sexily against the kitchen counter and gave her a wink. The girl blushed and giggled. John smiled at her. He got a warning look from Paul. When the girl looked down to the toast Paul had made her, John gave him a wink too. Paul rolled with his eyes. John turned and made himself a cup of tea and some toast.

‘Brian said we have to be in the studio at ten. George wants to talk about the new song for the album.’ John said as he smeared butter on his toast.

‘Alright. What time’s it now?’ Paul asked. John opened his mouth to say something but was caught off by Rachel.

‘It’s nine o’clock.’ She said friendly. John closed his mouth again.

‘Okay so we have fifty minutes to get ready. It’s a five minute walk.’ Paul said. John nodded. He got his breakfast and sat down at the table were Paul and Rachel were sitting at too. He bit a bit of his toast and drank some tea. John noticed a newspaper and grabbed it to read it. Paul sighed and ate his toast too. When Rachel had finished hers she jumped up. John and Paul looked up at her.

‘I… I think I’ll be going then. My friend must be getting a bit worried.’ She said.

‘Alright then. I’ll walk you out.’ Paul said with a smile. Rachel looked at John.

‘Bye Rachel. T’was nice to meet ya. Next time don’t be shy and knock on my door too. I’m sure Paul wouldn’t have minded it a bit.’ He said with a wink. Rachel went red. She obviously didn’t know how to react to that so she just nodded. John grinned wide. Paul gave him a second warning look. He took his bird by her arm and walked her out. John couldn’t help but grab her ass and give it a little squeeze as she passed him on her way to the door. She squealed and quickly walked to the door. Paul opened the door for her and gave her a good-bye kiss. Rachel looked one last time at John who was watching them. He waved seductively at her. She blushed and quickly walked out.

‘What the hell was that, Lennon!’ Paul said angrily as he put his hands on his hips. John looked up from his paper and looked at Paul with questioning eyes. Paul was giving him his ‘bitch face’ which was absolutely adorable at some points.

‘Was what, Paulie?’ John asked as innocently as he could.

‘Don’t give me that shit, Lennon. You know perfectly well what I mean.’ Paul said. John was taken aback by Paul’s stern voice.

‘First you are encouraging me to give her a pull, then you shout at me for being loud and now you are flirting with her, but only to make her uncomfortable. Explain yourself, John. Why?’ Paul asked. John blinked with his eyes and thought about a good come back. He couldn’t think of any. The only thing that popped up in his mind was probably not such a great idea.

‘So? Come on. We don’t have all day.’ Paul said. John slowly got up and walked over to him. Paul backed away a little, not sure what John was going to do. John was standing right in front of Paul. Paul could feel John’s warm breath against his skin. John looked into Paul’s hazel eyes. He shuddered slightly as their eyes locked. John slowly placed a hand on Paul’s shoulder. Paul didn’t know what to do or say. He froze. John looked down at Paul’s lips. They were slightly parted. John looked back into Paul’s eyes. He replaced the hand on Paul’s shoulder and moved further onto Paul’s back, pulling him slightly closer. Paul’s breath quickened.

‘John…’ He almost whispered. John looked at Paul’s lips again. He moved his head closer to Paul’s. Paul looked down at John’s lips to. John slowly leaned in. Paul cocked his head a little. John took his change and attacked Paul’s full, red, sexy lips with his own. An electric shock went through both their bodies as their lips met. Paul froze again and didn’t reply. John placed his other hand on Paul’s hip and pushed him against the wall. Paul moaned slightly as he was forced against the wall. John pushed his body against Paul’s and moaned a little. Paul got his movements back and he moved his hand up and tangled his fingers in John’s hair as he caressed John’s arms with his other hand. John cocked his head and licked Paul’s bottom lip, wetting them with his saliva. He pushed a leg between Paul’s legs and parted them. He put a little pressure on Paul’s covered cock. Paul moaned and opened his mouth for John to enter. John immediately slipped his tongue in Paul’s mouth and began to explore. John’s hands began to wonder around Paul’s body. The hand on Paul’s hip moved to his lower back and moved lower to Paul’s sexy bum. Paul’s tongue found John’s and he played with it lovingly. John moaned and pushed Paul more up against the wall. He moved his hand lower and caressed Paul’s ass. He pressed his hips against Paul’s. John moaned again and pushed his tongue down Paul’s throat. Paul’s head was spinning. Then suddenly it was over. John pulled away and left Paul panting heavily against the wall. Paul whined at the loss of contact and friction. He was hard. His eyes shuddered close again and he tried to control his breaths. When he opened them again John was gone.

‘What the fuck, Lennon. Why are you doing this me?’ Paul asked himself quietly.

* * *

 Paul only had twenty minutes left. He was in his room. He was ready and not in a good way. He was hard. He still was. After almost half an hour, he was still hard. Paul didn’t want to wank. Not after John had kissed him. Paul couldn’t wank to his best mate. Not even if that mate had stuck his tongue down his throat and trust his hips against his, making them both hard. Paul just couldn’t do it. It was wrong. This whole tension between them was wrong. They were friends, best friends. And above all, two lads. Paul was straight and so was John. John was straight, right? Paul began to doubt. And what about himself. What if he wasn’t. He had always felt somehow drawn to John. He had find him rather sexy and attractive. But it had only been John. He wasn’t queer if it was only with John. It was just because he had looked up to him since the day they had met. He wasn’t sexually attractive to John was he? Paul rubbed his head. This whole thing was so confusing. Why did John do this? He hadn’t been seriously attracted to him? No, of course no. It must have been one of John’s stupid jokes. John wasn’t queer. He just pulled a joke on him. Right?

Fuck. All that thinking about John and him had got him even harder. Fuck. He had to wank. He had too. He couldn’t go to the studio like this. Paul quickly ran to the bathroom. He dropped his jeans and released his cock. He took the base in his hand and began stroking it. If I think about Brigitte Bardot, I haven’t wanked off to John, have I? Paul asked himself. He came to the conclusion that he was safe and began to stroke himself gently, rubbing the head lightly every time his hand went up. He closed his eyes and saw Brigitte on her lovely knees, teasing his cock. Paul groaned. He looked down at her again. He tangled his hand in her long, blond hair. He pushed her lips to his cock. She took him in and began sucking him. He moaned. He threw his head back.

‘Fuck… john.’ Paul moaned. He looked back down. He pulled lightly at the auburn hair in his hand. John looked up at him. He let him slide out of his mouth. He smiled sexily at him. He kissed the tip of Paul’s now throbbing cock. Paul groaned and pulled again. He heard John chuckle in his head. John took him back in after licking the head. He let Paul slide into his throat. John sucked and sucked, while looking up at him. He swirled his tongue around Paul’s cock. He found every spot that made Paul go crazy.

‘OHH GOD! JOHN!’ Paul groaned as he came all over his hand. Paul’s eyes shot open as his mind registered what just had happened. He had imagined it was John who was sucking him till he came. He had imagined he had come in John’s wet, warm, sexy mouth. Paul pushed those dirty thoughts away and tucked himself back in. He pulled his jeans back up and washed his hands.

‘I’m queer now, aren’t I?’ Paul asked himself as he cleaned up.

‘Paul, we’re leaving! Hurry up, or we’ll be late.’ Ringo shouted at the closed door that leaded to Paul’s bedroom. He had his arm wrapped around George’s waist. John was waiting by the door with his jacket already on. Ringo was glad George had actually told John. Now they had more time to really be together as a couple. Ringo turned his head as he felt a pair of lips on his cheek. George smiled lovingly at him. Ringo smiled back and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips before letting him go. He walked to Paul’s door and knocked.

‘Paul? Are you there?’ He asked. He put his ear against the door and listened. He didn’t hear anything. Suddenly the door opened and Ringo fell hard on the ground. John and George had to laugh. It looked so funny. Paul stood in the doorway, with his hand over his mouth.

‘Rings, I’m sorry mate. Didn’t know you were there.’ He apologized. George, still laughing, walked over to Ringo and helped him up.

‘Here mate. Let’s go, yeah. We’re already late. I don’t know what you were doing in there, but be a bit quicker next time, yeah Paul.’ George said. John searched for Paul’s eyes. Paul blushed as their eyes locked. The others didn’t notice. Paul quickly walked passed John and followed George and Ringo out to the studio.  

‘Okay lads, just one more time from the top. I think we’ll have it then. Ready?’ George Martin asked from behind the glass. John gave him the thumbs up. They had been in the studio for almost three hours and all started to get a little package. All four of them and their manager wanted to get something to eat. Especially George, who had said that the others had started to look more  delicious with every note they played. Still George Martin, was determent to record this song before lunch.

John counted in.

‘One… two… One, two, three, four!’ John counted. They started to play. They played “It’s only love”. John began to sing.

‘I get high when I see you go by. My oh my. When you sigh, my, my insides just fly. Butterfly. Why am I so shy when I’m besides you?’ He sang. He looked at Paul, who had been looking at him. John saw him blush. John looked back at his microphone. Paul soon joined for the chorus.

‘It’s only love and that’s all. Why should I feel the way I do? It’s only love, and that is all. But it’s so hard loving you.’ They both sang. John quickly took a peek at Paul. He was close. They were only a feet or three apart. John looked at Paul again, now he kept on looking at him. Paul noticed.

‘Is it right that you and I should fight, every night? Just the side of you makes night time bright. Very bright. Haven’t I the right to make it up, girl?’ John sang to Paul. He was having trouble on the ‘girl’ part, since he was really singing it to a lad. Paul looked at him. Their eyes locked. No one else noticed.

‘It’s only love and that is all. Why should I feel the way I do? It’s only love and that is all. But it’s so hard loving you. Yes it’s so hard loving you. Loving you.’ The man finished the song. John and Paul were still looking at each other. Both afraid of what would happen if the broke eye contact. They played the last notes, still not breaking the eye contact until George Martin spoke again.

‘Alright lads. That’s it for now. It was great. We’ll have a break now. We’ll work later.’ He said. John nodded and put his guitar away. He left the studio without saying a word. He couldn’t deal with this. He had to think. No, he had to change this. This couldn’t continue. George was wrong. They would never be together. They were friends. He couldn’t do this to Paul, to him, to their friendship. Their friendship was too dear to him to risk it. He took one other look at the other boys. He shook his head and walked out. George and Ringo quickly followed his lead.

Paul eventually put his bass away too and walked out. He grabbed something to eat. Just a few sandwiches. He looked around for his band mates. He quickly spotted George and Ringo. John wasn’t anywhere in sight. Paul looked at George and Ringo. They were chatting, laughing and well, maybe even giggling. George was playing with his straw and had a reddish colour on his face. Paul walked over to them.

‘Hello. What are we talking about?’ Paul asked as he sat down next to George. Ringo and George immediately stopped talking.

‘Nothing much. Just the album.’ George lied. Paul could tell he lied. He decided to leave it. It probably wasn’t important anyway. George and Ringo studied Paul as he took a bite of his sandwich. George leant in closer to Paul.

‘Tell us something, Paul.’ George said. Paul turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

‘Like what?’ He asked. Now it was Ringo’s time to lean closer.

‘What do you think? The weather?’ Ringo said sarcastically. Paul looked at him with an confused look on his face. Ringo sighed.

‘About you and John, you fool. You two have been acting strange. Well stranger than normal, anyway.’ He said. Paul went red immediately and George grinned.

‘So there is something going on.’ Ringo said. Paul looked down at his plate, trying to avoid eye contact with both of his band mates. George nudged with his elbow against Paul’s side.

‘What happened Paul? What exactly is going on?’ He asked. Paul shrugged.

‘Nothing you need to know.’ He said shyly.

‘Whoa.’ Ringo exclaimed. George gave him a warning look. He wrapped an arm around Paul.

‘Come on, Paulie. We won’t tell anyone. We only want to help.’ He said sweetly. Ringo nodded in agreement. Paul looked up at them, looking from the one to the other. He sighed and laid his sandwich back on his plate.

‘I… I can’t. I don’t even really know what happened. It’s complicated.’ He said. George pulled him closer.

‘Come on, Paul. Try us. Maybe we can figure it out.’ He said soothingly. Ringo nodded heavily again. Paul had to smile at how stupid he looked.

‘Alright. But don’t tell anyone, please.’ Paul said. His friends promised they wouldn’t tell anyone. Paul took another bite from his sandwich and drank a little of his tea so his throat wouldn’t be that dry. He swallowed heavily.

‘Well. John… I… He…  He kissed me.’ Paul said with a little voice. George went white. Ringo couldn’t believe what he heard.

‘He didn’t ?’ George asked more himself than Paul, silently. Paul nodded slightly.

‘What? You’re for real? What happened? Why would he do that?’ Ringo asked, slightly panicking. This was not something he was expecting. Sure, George had told him there was something going on between the two of them. But that something like this had happened hadn’t even crossed his mind.

‘Well, John had always been acting a little weird around me. Making fun of the birds I was sleeping with. Playing strange mind games with me. Acting strange. Then I had hooked up with this fucking sexy girl and we had sex. John started to act all weird and was yelling at me, for being too loud. Well, you should hear him sometimes. A bomb going off is nothing compared with the amount of noise he makes!’ Paul said. He chuckled nervously. George nodded and motioned Paul to continue.

‘Than he was flirting with her, but not in the subtle way John normally does when he tries to get a bird into bed. He was making her feel uncomfortable. Then she left and I started yelling at him. And then he just… He just pushed me up against the wall and shoved his tongue down me throat.’ Paul said. He looked back at his sandwich. Now Ringo was getting curious. He looked at his secret lover, who was still as white as a sheet. He leant closer to Paul.

‘What happened after that?’ he asked. Paul shrugged again.

‘Nothing. We broke apart, I still had me eyes closed and when I opened them again he was gone. I only say him again this morning when I pushed the door open into your face.’ He said, looking at Ringo.

‘You two didn’t say anything?’ Ringo asked. George kept quiet.

‘No. Well, only when we had too, for the album. But that’s it.’ Paul answered. Ringo raised an eyebrow.

‘Nothing strange happened then?’ Ringo asked.

‘Well, with the song we just did, before lunch I mean, He kept on looking at me in a certain way. Our eyes locked and I couldn’t look away. John didn’t either. I don’t know what was going on. I just feel so confused. I don’t know what to do.’ Paul said. He tangled his fingers in his hair. George was still holding him close, but didn’t know what to do. He did know one thing. He had to talk to John. George suddenly let Paul go and stood up. He stormed out of the little canteen. Paul and Ringo raised their eyebrows and followed George with his eyes.

‘JOHN! Open that door, this instant!’ George screamed while he was banging with his fists at the closed door to a small office. George had seen John go in there earlier. George was angry. Why did John do that. That was not what he meant when he told John to go for it. He knew Paul’s feelings for John were much more than just friendship and adoration. It was love. George could see that. He couldn’t see, though, why the others didn’t. Paul couldn’t even see it himself. George knew that kissing Paul was not the way for them to get together. It would only confuse Paul and then Paul would get distant and John would get depressed.

‘JOHN! OPEN UP! NOW! LET ME IN, JOHN!’ George screamed again. He didn’t care who’d hear him. John should just let him in if he didn’t want anyone to know about this. John just didn’t open the door. George was seriously considering the kick the door in.

‘John, open up! Please.’ George asked again a little calmer. Then the door opened. John stood in the doorway, not letting see the inside of the room. His hair was messed up and his tie was loose around his neck. His shirt was half unbuttoned. He had a cigarette hanging between his lips.

‘What’s up, Georgie?’ John asked with a grin. George was really angry now. He pushed John aside, wanting to know what was going on. He walked into the room. The lights were dim but George was certain of what he saw.

‘Br… Brian?’ George asked softly. He looked back at John, who took a drag from his cigarette and was still grinning. George looked back at Brian. He was lying on a small cough. His hair was too messed up, his blazer was lying on the ground and his belt hung loose around his waist. His shirt was buttoned but not probably. He too had had a grin on his face till he saw it was George. He had gone all white now. George looked around the room, to be certain that this was what it looked like. George spotted an empty package of a condom. A small bottle of lube was standing on a small table next to the cough. Brian’s tie was tied around Brian’s wrist. George’s jaw dropped. He looked from Brian to John and back to Brian. He didn’t know what to do. Why did John do this? If John wanted to start something with Paul, he shouldn’t be fucking around with Brian. Paul would be devastated if he found out.

 John slowly walked towards Brian. He sat down next to him on the cough. He began to untie his hands. He gave Brian a small kiss on his cheek.

‘Eh George. What’s going on? What’s all that noise? Throwing a party without me… oh.’ Paul said as he walked in. John, who was still kissing Brian, and Brian himself froze. George’s head turned immediately to  Paul. George could see tears form in Paul’s big puppy eyes. The boy looked heartbroken.

‘I see…’ Paul said. Even his voice sounded broken. Paul covered his eyes and ran out of the darkened room. John got back to his senses and got off of Brian.

‘George… I…’ John started but George interrupted him. He shook his head.

‘No John. I can’t talk to you right now. Besides, I’m not the one you should be talking to, anyway.’ George said. He turned around and walked out, leaving John and Brian behind, hoping John would grow up and do what he had to do.

* * *

John had been looking for Paul for days. George still didn’t want to talk to him and Ringo was just being Ringo, trying not to get too much involved. John was yet on another search for Paul when he run into Brian. It had been awkward between the two of them since that one time. Sure, John had told Brian he didn’t want anything from him after it, but Brian had had his hopes. And well… Be fair, after you fucked with someone it’s never easy. Something John hadn’t thought through. At first John just wanted to walk past Brian, not really saying anything, but Brian had other plans.

‘John…’ Brian said. John looked at him, not saying anything.

‘John… Ehm… I eh…. You and the boys have to be ready to leave in fifteen minutes. You have a press conference.’ Brian continued. John raised an eyebrow.

‘And you’re just telling me this now?!’ He nearly shouted. John had been on the edge of bursting for two days now, everything got him going, but the real blow stayed out.

Brian took a step back, not sure what John would do.

‘Eh… I eh… I was going to tell you when… eh… you know… you came to see me.’ Brian said softly, not wanting to really say: “when we had sex in my office”. John calmed down and went a bit pale thinking about that. He looked down.

‘Oh.’ He just said. Not knowing what else to say. Brian studied John. He wanted to help John. But he knew John wouldn’t want that and the best way to help him was doing nothing. He cleared his throat.

‘Well… If you would tell the others. I’ll see you all in fifteen minutes, then.’ Brian said. John nodded, not looking up. Brian turned around and walked away.

‘Oh John,’ Brian said, he just couldn’t do nothing, ‘If you want someone to talk to, or need any help. You know where to find me.’ John nodded. Brian sighed and walked away, leaving John staring at the ground alone.

John stood in front of Paul’s door. It had been his door too, but Paul didn’t want John to sleep, or even be here, too so he had locked the door. The first night John had slept on the cough. The other two night he had been offered to sleep on the “spare” bed in George and Ringo’s room. It wasn’t really a spare bed. But since John knew of George and Ringo they could sleep in one single bed and John in the other. Now the door was too locked. John heard sex noises coming from the other side of the door, louder than ever. John new Paul only did that to annoy John. To make him jealous. Well, it was defiantly working. John took a deep breath. Paul was killing him.  John knocked on the door. Too soft because John couldn’t even hear it himself due to the loud moans and groans. John took another deep breath and knocked again. This time the noises faded. John sighed in relieve.

‘I’m kinda busy here!’ John heard Paul shout from the other side of the door. His voice was unsteady and husky. John could just picture Paul, sweating on the way to small bed, no he hadn’t pushed the beds together. It would remember him too much of him, on top of a young brunette with big boobs and a great round firm ass, pounding into her tight pussy, making her scream out of pleasure with every thrust his own ass cheeks pushed together, his hair stuck to his head because of the sweat. John felt some blood rush down to a place where it really shouldn’t. Not now.

‘Paul, it’s me.’ John shouted back, his voice slightly breaking. It kept awfully quiet behind the door. John rested his head against the door.

‘I.. I… Paul i… We’re leaving. Press conference.’ John said, stammering as he did. Again it kept quiet. Not a noise came from behind the door. Not even the bird said anything.

‘Downstairs in ten minutes.’ John said. He slammed his fist against the door and walked away. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. John heard the door open.

‘John! John wait…’ He heard Paul yell. John knew it was over. He was losing him. His was losing something  he never really had, at least not the way he wanted him. Three days… Three days he had tried to get to Paul, three days of cutting up clothes of girls he had found in Paul’s room. Paul’s room. Three days of knocking on that door, hoping Paul would give him a chance. Three days of feeling awful and guilty. Three days of slowly losing the one you love. John didn’t had the strength anymore. Not now. He ignored Paul and walked away, wiping a tear from his face.

George was getting tired of this stupid fight between John and Paul. The only reason for this stupid fight was pride, stupidity and because they were both cowards. George was sitting once again with a crying Paul next to him in Paul’s room. He was sure that if he wasn’t that mad of John his job was twice as much. He had heard John cry silently in their room once. Of course he never told John. It was strange hearing his friend, who was always so strong, cry. Hearing Paul cry was somehow more natural. Not that Paul cried a lot. Not at all. It just wasn’t as scary as hearing John cry.

Paul was lying with his head in George’s lap, crying. George stroked Paul’s hair in order to calm him down. George didn’t like to admit it, but he was proud of John, making Paul feel as he had been feeling. Unloved, unwanted and a total idiot. He didn’t tell Paul, of course. He’d only get mad. He would tell John. Maybe it would encourage him to fight for Paul. And maybe Paul would see that he had to give John a change to explain. George just wanted them to make up and get together. They both loved each other. A lot. They were just too stupid. John in the way he handled it and Paul in the way he reacted to it. 

‘George… I don’t know what to do.’ Paul sobbed from his lap. George looked down at him. Paul turned his face and looked up at him.

‘Paul, you know what I think of this stupid thing, right.’ George sighed. Paul nodded.

‘Yeah, but you have no idea what it’s like. It’s not only because of John, or because it illegal. It’s because…’ Paul stared. He swallowed heavily.

‘Yeah?’ George asked so Paul would continue.

‘I always thought I was straight you know. I am straight. I love birds, not guys. I… I never think of a guy in a sexual way. I’m… I…’ Paul started to sob again. George didn’t know what to do. He had always known he was queer, deep inside him. When he met him it just all made sense. He still liked birds, but it had always all been about Ritchie. He never really had this problem. Paul continued.

‘I… I’m always described at the immovable heterosexual. I can’t be queer.’ George helped Paul sit up next to him. Paul buried his face in George’s neck. George caressed Paul’s back. Paul calmed down a little.

‘But… The things he does to me.’ Paul said, his voice cracking, ‘I do love him.’

‘I know you do, Paul. That’s what  I’ve been trying to tell for the last couple of days.’ George said. Paul nodded and rested his head on his shoulder.

‘I know. I’m just stupid.’ Paul said. George shook his head.

‘It’s not stupid Paul,’ George said as he thought about Ringo, he too had had some trouble at first,  ‘It’s a difficult thing. It’s a completely different thing. That takes time.’ He said. Paul nodded again.

‘Makes sense. I just don’t know what to do now. John’s mad at me. He didn’t even want to talk to me.’ Paul said with a sad voice.

‘Well, you did ignore him for three days on end. What would you be?’ George said with  a slight chuckle. Paul sighed.

‘I’m suck an idiot. I’ve lost him now. He doesn’t want me now, anymore. I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t want me, either.’ He said. George moved Paul’s head off his shoulder.

‘Paul, look at me. Look at me! It’s not too late. John is devastated. Paul, John is crazy about you. He wouldn’t go knocking on your door for three days if he wasn’t. He wouldn’t act like suck a fool if he didn’t love you. Just tell him.’ George said. Paul nodded, still looking at George. George let go off Paul. He stood up. Paul followed him with his eyes. George threw Paul his jacket.

‘But first… We have that press conference.’ He said with a smile. Paul smiled back and put his jacket on. George leaded Paul out of his room, leaving the pile of cut up woman’s clothing behind.

John looked at himself through the mirror in their dressing room. This was his last chance, he decided. If Paul didn’t want him now, he’d stop with putting any more energy in their relationship, if you could call it that. John straightened his tie and redid his hair for the sixth time in ten minutes. He wore his best suit. His slacks being really tight. The other Beatles had already left. John had told them he just had to change a couple of things. He in fact had change his whole outfit. He wanted to surprise Paul. And this was the perfect way to do that. Of course he wasn’t going to do anything massive while the press conference was going on, but he would glance at him a little too much and long, he would make inappropriate jokes, a little flirting. John gazed at himself in the mirror. He looked fine. His hair messy, but stylish. His clothes sexy and tight, but still casual. There was a knock on the door, which made John jump. John waited for another knock. There was one.

‘John? Can I come in?’ John heard the man who this all was for say from behind the door. John cleaned the room  a little in haste and sat down on the sofa, trying to look sexy and relaxed.

‘Er… Yeah. Come in.’ John replied, his eyes fixed on the door. The door slowly opened. Paul walked in, looking down, being a bit shy. He cleared his throat.

‘I eh… George he er… George told me to go get you. Brian is waiting for us.’ Paul said softly.

‘Speak up a little, I can’t hear ya.’ John said as coldly. He didn’t mean to be cold to Paul. It just came out like that. The coldness of John did make Paul look up. He looked shamefully at John.

Paul felt his breath stock as he saw John sitting on the cough. He had changed. He looked sexy and gorgeous, but in his eyes Paul could see the pain. The pain he had caused him. Paul never really knew John fancied him. John still hadn’t officially admitted it, but if he had just listened to John, just looked at John, he would’ve seen John’s jealousy. How could he have been so blind.

‘George asked me if I could go and get you. Brian is waiting for us. So is the whole world.’ Paul said with a slight smile. John nodded and stood up.

‘Well, we mustn’t keep them waiting.’ John simply said before walking past him. Paul couldn’t believe this and grabbed John by his arm. John looked surprised at the hand on his arm. Paul breath quickened, having John so close to him after so long. Paul had fancied John like mad ever since the day he met him. Of course he didn’t know it then. But he had realised it on the way.

‘Wait…’ Paul said. John looked up and their eyes locked. Paul knew it was now or never. He moved quickly, pressing his soft lips against John’s. John didn’t react. He didn’t kiss back, but he didn’t pull away either. Paul relished his lips.

‘I’m sorry.’ Paul said. John still didn’t say a word. He just looked at Paul, making him nervous. Paul sighed.

‘I’m sorry for being such an ass. I should just have listened to you.’ He said. John shook his head and raised an hand to caress Paul’s cheek. 

‘No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I was just at my wits end. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid you might laugh at me, or even worse despise me if I told you I fancied you like mad ever since the day I saw you in that large crowd in Liverpool. I shouldn’t have done what I did, and certainly not have slept with Brian.’ John said. He added a nervous chuckle at the end. He took Paul’s head lovingly in his hands. Paul placed his hands on John’s arms and sighed.

‘No, that you really shouldn’t have.’ Paul said softly. He smiled at John and John smiled back nervously. John moved Paul’s head in his direction. Paul noticed. He closed his eyes and let their lips met once again. John’s eyes fluttered shut. Their lips moved together in union, when suddenly the door opened.

‘Guys, Brian is getting really pissed off. I really think we shou…’ George started as he walked in. He stopped talking as he saw the two quickly breaking apart from an intense kiss. George’s jaw nearly dropped. The others froze and didn’t say or do anything. George just kept standing there with his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped to the floor. John was the first to move. He turned George around and pushed him into the hall.

‘We’ll be right there. Just one moment.’ John said before closing the door with a loud bang. George blinked a few times with his eyes before he realized what had happened. He heard Paul giggle softly from behind the closed door. George smiled to himself and walked away, happy that it was finally over with John’s annoying jealousy and Paul’s sluttiness as he liked to call it.

George met Ringo on his way over to Brian to tell the news. Not everything, of course. He wanted to boys to do the big part themselves. When George saw Ringo he ran over to him and jumped in his arms. Ringo chuckled as he nearly fell backwards because of George jumping in his arms. He gave him a little kiss on his head.

‘What are you so happy about?’ Ringo asked. George pulled away a little and looked him into the eye. He moved his hand up to Ringo’s cheek and caressed it lovingly.

‘Promise me we’ll never act like John and Paul?’ George reguested. Ringo smiled at him and gave George a little peck on his lips.

‘Never.’ He said. George smiled and kissed Ringo for real. With tongues exploring and massaging, teeth clashing together, lips getting redder and bigger. Their cheeks began to flush. Ringo pulled away with a big satisfied grin on his face.

‘They’re together, then?’ Ringo asked, already knowing the answer. George nodded.

‘Finally. I’m happy we didn’t act like idiots.’ Ringo said. George laughed.

‘Well, I didn’t act like one. You certainly did! Don’t you remember?’ George asked. Ringo gave George a little cute Eskimo kiss.

‘No, I was too stoned to remember. You shall have to tell me.’ Ringo said with a wink.

‘You dirty little pervert. You only want to hear me tell it.’ George said. Ringo nodded.

‘So? I don’t see anything wrong with that.’ He said.

‘No, that’s because you’re too stoned too.’ George said. He gave Ringo a quick peck on his cheek before running away, pushing Ringo playfully.

‘I’m not stoned!’ Ringo yelled with  a laugh as he started to chase George.

John and Paul were walking down the hall, John’s arm wrapped around Paul’s waist. Paul’s head resting on John’s shoulder, a happy smile on both their faces.

‘I’m actually glad you fucked Brian.’ Paul suddenly said. John raised and eyebrow and look at him. Paul didn’t look up.

‘Why’s that?’ John asked, not getting Paul at all. Paul shrugged.

‘Because else, I’d maybe never had realized how much I care about you and how much I love you. I felt my heart break when I saw you two. And I’m glad it did.’ Paul said. John smiled at him and kissed Paul’s head. Paul looked up.

‘I mean it, you know.’ He said, ‘if you had never slept with Brian I’d just push the thought away, about you and me I mean. Now that I saw you, I knew deep down inside me that was supposed to be the one on that cough with you, not Brian. If you’d never done that, I might never have realized that what I felt every time I saw you fuck, or even seduce a bird, that that was jealousy. I had been jealous of all those girls all along, I just never realised it. I’m glad I did now.’ Paul said. John leaned in and gave Paul a loving kiss.

‘I knew I never did something without a reason.’ John said cocky. Paul gave him a playful push before pulling him back for a kiss. Just at that moment they were interrupted by two lad, playing around like kids. John laughed at them. Paul looked from them back to John and turned his face to his.

‘Promise me, we’ll never be like that.’ Paul asked. John smiled lovingly before taking Paul’s hand and kissing it. He then dropped it and moved his lips besides Paul’s ear.

‘Never…’ John whispered into Paul’s ear. Paul shuddered and wrapped his arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. John moaned against the lips he had wanted to kiss for so long. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was graciously imported from tumblr by [CJD](https://chut-je-dors.tumblr.com/) who is a good friend and overall pretty amazing. Suck it, Puck


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